people
Paris again.
A sidewalk somewhere, under the bright sun and hot air.
A blond woman was sitting there, amid bags and such. She wasn't young, but not old either. She was holding a kind of pale cup, waving it about so passing people could drop a piece of money in it.
When I saw her, I was smiling because I'd just seen a turtle in a shop and was in a good mood. You know the feeling : as if you had a balloon inside your head.
I gave her a piece of money, and then, foolishly, instead of just going my way, I opened my mouth and spoke. Of course, I said the most stupid thing I could say.
"Aren't you too hot, sitting here in the sun?"
I don't remember what she replied. A second later, another blond woman (a friend of hers I guess) looked up at me and began shrieking.
"What? Those who ask such a question aren't normal" she exclaimed. (Such a shrill voice she had!) Your head is cracked. You're completely crazy!"
The other said : "We like the sun. If I am too hot, I'll go elsewhere".
They spoke, on and on, and I was frozen, reeling. I tried to control myself and find a suitable answer. What should I have said? That indeed, yes, I was crazy?
But the vehement reaction of the women frightened me, and I felt I was going to melt right there on the street.
I said : "Sorry, I didn't wish to intrude" in English. And fled, their voices sticking to my back.
What took me to speak in English, I don't know. And why I felt like crying was another mystery. Even more baffling : Why, why did you open your mouth, o wise merlin?
I just wanted to be kind. Nobody was speaking to them. I couldn't walk as if they weren't there! I just intended to acknowledge their existence with a few words.
They hate me. That's probably why it's bothering me. They hate me, because...Because, what? I live under a roof, and can eat whenever I want?
My question was stupid.
I should just forget it and read Fitz. But...It's like a shard. A thorn.
Humans and their words. Sometimes it is so hard to deal with them!
One learns from things like that. One must make mistakes to learn.
Now I know : I'll never open my mouth if it's not necessary, especially with strangers (and people as touchy as beggars). A nod should be enough to acknowledge their existence.
Words are too dangerous.
I met a lizard on my way home (tiny black one, probably enjoying the hot day too). I felt a bit better after that meeting. I wish I had stayed in the shop with the turtle. It had a really astounding face.
But I can't forget the women and the shrill voice shrieking at me.
A sidewalk somewhere, under the bright sun and hot air.
A blond woman was sitting there, amid bags and such. She wasn't young, but not old either. She was holding a kind of pale cup, waving it about so passing people could drop a piece of money in it.
When I saw her, I was smiling because I'd just seen a turtle in a shop and was in a good mood. You know the feeling : as if you had a balloon inside your head.
I gave her a piece of money, and then, foolishly, instead of just going my way, I opened my mouth and spoke. Of course, I said the most stupid thing I could say.
"Aren't you too hot, sitting here in the sun?"
I don't remember what she replied. A second later, another blond woman (a friend of hers I guess) looked up at me and began shrieking.
"What? Those who ask such a question aren't normal" she exclaimed. (Such a shrill voice she had!) Your head is cracked. You're completely crazy!"
The other said : "We like the sun. If I am too hot, I'll go elsewhere".
They spoke, on and on, and I was frozen, reeling. I tried to control myself and find a suitable answer. What should I have said? That indeed, yes, I was crazy?
But the vehement reaction of the women frightened me, and I felt I was going to melt right there on the street.
I said : "Sorry, I didn't wish to intrude" in English. And fled, their voices sticking to my back.
What took me to speak in English, I don't know. And why I felt like crying was another mystery. Even more baffling : Why, why did you open your mouth, o wise merlin?
I just wanted to be kind. Nobody was speaking to them. I couldn't walk as if they weren't there! I just intended to acknowledge their existence with a few words.
They hate me. That's probably why it's bothering me. They hate me, because...Because, what? I live under a roof, and can eat whenever I want?
My question was stupid.
I should just forget it and read Fitz. But...It's like a shard. A thorn.
Humans and their words. Sometimes it is so hard to deal with them!
One learns from things like that. One must make mistakes to learn.
Now I know : I'll never open my mouth if it's not necessary, especially with strangers (and people as touchy as beggars). A nod should be enough to acknowledge their existence.
Words are too dangerous.
I met a lizard on my way home (tiny black one, probably enjoying the hot day too). I felt a bit better after that meeting. I wish I had stayed in the shop with the turtle. It had a really astounding face.
But I can't forget the women and the shrill voice shrieking at me.
posted by transparency @ 7:37 e.h.
1 Comments:
At 9:30 e.h.,
Skywolf said…
Ah, Merlin - they are the insensitive ones, not you! If they were too wrapped up in their alienation to realise that your comment was meant in a caring, concerned way, then it is they who should be ashamed, not you. You did what you could - provided some money, and made an attempt at engaging the woman in conversation, as you would with anyone else. Foolish, hard-hearted creatures. Don't let them bring you to tears.
You are a caring one, Merlin. They have no right to make you wish to curb your caring ways. Do carry on speaking to people... not all will be so rude, and some may be cheered up or deeply touched at your willingness to engage with them. Don't let these bitter people keep you from interacting with others.
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